World Fantasy Convention 2011... and lions and tigers and... oh crap

Next week is the World Fantasy Convention in San Diego. I've been planning to go for several months, and when I originally registered for the convention in March, I was just a fan, with no fantasy publications to my name. Since then, my novella The Devil's Garden was released in June, and my House of Arkhangel'sk series sold to Entangled Publishing, with the first book, The Fallen Queen, due out in December. So I'm sort of an author. I hear that in Bender's voice from The Breakfast Club, a la the following exchange:

Claire Standish: You know why guys like you knock everything? John Bender: Oh, this should be stunning. Claire Standish: It's because you're afraid. John Bender: Oh God, you richies are so smart, that's exactly why I'm not heavy into activities. Claire Standish: You're a big coward. Brian Johnson: I'm in the math club. Claire Standish: See, you're afraid that they won't take you, you don't belong, so you have to just dump all over it. John Bender: Well, it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes, now would it? Claire Standish: Well, you wouldn't know, you don't even know any of us. John Bender: Well, I don't know any lepers, but I'm not going to run out and join one of their fucking clubs. Andrew Clark: Hey. Let's watch the mouth, huh? Brian Johnson: I'm in the physics club too. John Bender: Excuse me a sec. What are you babbling about? Brian Johnson: Well, what I had said was I'm in the math club, uh, the Latin, and the physics club... physics club. John Bender: Hey, Cherry. Do you belong to the physics club? Claire Standish: That's an academic club. John Bender: So? Claire Standish: So academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs. John Bender: Ah... but to dorks like him, they are. What do you guys do in your club? Brian Johnson: Well, in physics we... we talk about physics, properties of physics. John Bender: So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social.

That's what I mean when I say "sort of an author"... not that my writing ability is in any way demented and sad, but that I'm kind of a dork on the outskirts of things, and I'm not really sure I'm fully entitled to the social club status that someone like Claire has, but, hey, I'm happy with who I am. (And might I add, yes, I was in the physics club in high school.)

So everyone who registers for WFC as an author gets this questionnaire asking if they want to be on a panel. Naturally, I said no. (I might have said, "HELL, no.") Then my lovely publicist, Cathy Yardley Wilson, encouraged me to sign up for panels. Knees knocking, I crawled back to the events coordinator at WFC (yes, I can crawl on knocking knees; I'm talented that way) and said, "um, yeah, so about that HELL, no...." I turned in my questionnaire, figuring it was too late by that point and I'd be safe.

Today, the program was posted on the WFC website, and I saw this:

FRIDAY EVENTS

1:00 PM

Pacific 2/3: The Crystal Ceiling

Is there still a distinction between “women’s” and “men’s” fantasy and horror? Despite the power and importance of women fantasy and horror writers is much of the male community still dismissive of most female authors’ work? What about the number of female characters/protagonists? Do we see more of them lately in fiction written by men as well as women?

Kate Elliott, Charlaine Harris, Nancy Kilpatrick (M), Jane Kindred, Malinda Lo

Say what? Somebody accidentally put my name in there. Dammit, who's this other fantasy author with my name?

Oh, crap. I think that's me. Next to a bunch of real writers. I wonder if it would seem odd if I was really drunk at one o'clock in the afternoon?

Claire Standish: You know why guys like you knock everything? John Bender: Oh, this should be stunning. Claire Standish: It's because you're afraid. John Bender: Oh God, you richies are so smart, that's exactly why I'm not heavy into activities. Claire Standish: You're a big coward. Brian Johnson: I'm in the math club. Claire Standish: See, you're afraid that they won't take you, you don't belong, so you have to just dump all over it. John Bender: Well, it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes, now would it? Claire Standish: Well, you wouldn't know, you don't even know any of us. John Bender: Well, I don't know any lepers, but I'm not going to run out and join one of their fucking clubs. Andrew Clark: Hey. Let's watch the mouth, huh? Brian Johnson: I'm in the physics club too. John Bender: Excuse me a sec. What are you babbling about? Brian Johnson: Well, what I had said was I'm in the math club, uh, the Latin, and the physics club... physics club. John Bender: Hey, Cherry. Do you belong to the physics club? Claire Standish: That's an academic club. John Bender: So? Claire Standish: So academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs. John Bender: Ah... but to dorks like him, they are. What do you guys do in your club? Brian Johnson: Well, in physics we... we talk about physics, properties of physics. John Bender: So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?